It is not a far cry to assume the nucleus of relationships to be a vulnerable thing.
At times it may appear the gluing matrix that holds relationships together is impenetrable. Secured by the investment of time and the sharing of sensitive information, but underneath it all and beyond the buffer they can in reality be as delicate as a newborn baby.
I myself have become increasing fascinated by the spectrum of relationships, particularly friendships and sexual relationships (for the sake of convenience I will refer to both of them as ‘relationships’) as the interwoven complexity of them can be misconstrued, and in some cases overlooked leaving a void between those involved. Which, in truth can create avoidable friction and irreparable damage.
So how does a relationship of the named kind grow to become this way?
My empirical and intellectual research has directed me to believe the nature of relationships are subject if not prone to change; and it is these such changes that seemingly become convoluted when the foundation of that particular relationship is not impressed with the reality of this fact.
A point worth noting; the common element found in the most successful relationships is the being of friends; the quality of a meaningful, ironclad connection indivisible by existential dilemmas and issues whilst wholly being embraced, honed and nurtured. Research suggests a genuine interest in the other free from your own personal gains acts as insurance for any adjustment or change that comes to pass, and effectively preserves the essence of that bond from being damaged by the potential effects of these such changes and adjustments.
My research goes on; I have become inclined to acknowledge the journey relationships take is not always the preconceived direction initially thought-out – it could be argued that this is due to unforeseen variables and/or a sense of unpredictability, which manifests in us individually, and our relationships as a consequence of inner and outward change.
Now there is no way to determine with certainty whether these variables are in anyway shape or form debilitating, it only goes onto reveal what that relationship is capable of producing, or not, in its current capacity. Which is reason enough to look at these variables as opportunities to redefine and authenticate the connection. In this vein it wouldn’t be wise to wish away those unpredictable instances that could reformat the accustomed, learned behaviour that has allowed the relationship to deviate from its root essence of genuine interest.
“EVERYONE YOU EVER MEET WILL KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON’T.” – BILL NYE.
It is said that listening is the most important skill you could ever develop. The average person can speak using 225 words per minute but can listen to up to 500 words per minute. And please note it isn’t just through being quiet that we are actively listening. True listening requires a setting aside of one’s self (Edward Scott) and one’s tendency to pontificate and express their own opinions at the expense of learning through listening. If the school of thought we all graduated from emphasised listening to be of principal importance, the very structure of our relationships would be undeniably different (I’d prefer not to assume due to an indifference towards generalisations and blanket terms) and more prepared for challenging situations.
So what is the ‘Re’ in Relationships?
‘The ‘Re’ in Relationships’ could very well symbolise rejuvenation, replenishment, revitalise etc. We as a people are more polarized than ever with the endless influences of technology having harmful and in some cases detrimental impacts on progressive relationships. The very notion of having a constructive conversation is challenged by the convenience of instant messaging, when we are all too aware of the shortcomings this can have especially when the scope of interaction becomes touchy for a lack of a better term. This reinforces the importance of being present when together and not absent-minded. Setting aside the idea of instant gratification for slow burning satisfaction. Working with each other instead of against and heightening interpersonal communication and conversational competence. This applies to every conceivable relationship.
On a scale of importance, how significant are relationships and the development of them?
An arguable case could be made to suggest the quality of our relationships goes hand in hand with the quality of our lives. Establishing meaningful relationships is considered to be a quintessential evolutionary aspect of the human experience, one that is crucial towards engineering one’s lifestyle, aspirations, purpose and orientation.
“LIFE IS A TEAM GAME.” – R. N. WALKER
If we employ a lifestyle where we do not build meaningful relationships with others we manufacture ourselves into isolation, which depending on the individual could lead to loneliness and other mentally unpleasant sensations – ones of which we are not naturally accustomed to. The idea that life is a team game optimises the strength we can draw from having well-anchored and mindful influences around us, but we will never know the merit nor scale of those amongst us if our stream of communication is polluted by distractions and narrowed by our inability to communicate effectively.
Being a student of Hawaiian Shamanism it is my place to impart upon you with knowledge that would be well serving in this dynamic. Commanding the second attention is a particular practice that serves to overwrite a set of beliefs or a way of being we became accustomed to when under the influence of parental figures and society alike. You are no longer a child per say so can therefore set in place new agreements, new beliefs that work towards your betterment and advance your capacity to improve your relationships.
Choose to be aware of yourself when around friends and lovers. Choose to create a space of value for them and for yourself. Listen twice as much as you speak. Embrace the changes and evolutionary transitions that will impact you and your relationships. Go with the flow with preconceptions and if there is a dispute or difference in your sexual relationship, settle it in the bedroom with no clothes on! *Ltm!
*Laugh to myself.
I hope you enjoyed this transmission. Stay tuned for more! #IAMBKIP